Its been while since I have posted anything in my personal blog. Perhaps because Ive not had anything more worth posting till now. Perhaps Im just lazy. Probably a combination of the 2. Wow, is about all I can say. I have to backtrack a bit. Actually a lot. Probably back to the age of 13 or so. Like all of the rest of us, Ive been hurt in my life. Want a few examples? I was afraid youd ask me that. When I was in school, I was labled as gay. Due to this label, I was an outcast for most the entire time I was there. about 7 years or so that I can recall.
I could not handle it. So I wanted to be like Spock. You know, the Vulan dude. No emotions. If I had no emotions, I could not be hurt.
Well, it worked and most all my life, Ive lived this way. Sure there have been times of reprieve, when I could feel. But those brief times were always ended in pain and I cause me to only go deeper inside myself.
Well, now fast forward a bit to where I got married. We have been maried now for 6 years. I loved my wife, but just could not fid that love and I was uanble to really show it. I prayed on and off for the entire 6 years that God would fix me. That I could finally love my wife the way I should.
Well, about 3 weeks ago now, God showed up. My wife was about to leave me. She had had as much as she could take of a cold marriage. It was probably our final day and it just happened. I cried, which I had not done in 6 or more years. And it just changed.
Now I love my wife and I know it. I can feel again. We are now in love and its very nice.
